It am so in awe at how much Bryant has learned in five months, and how much I have learned in five months. I wish a lot of things that I had to learn would have been shared with me while I was pregnant. I read books and blogs constantly while I was pregnant and some things were never addressed. Now I am giving advice to my friend Jen about her pregnancy and delivery and newborn baby and I compiled this list of "10 things books won't tell you."
Most of these things people won't normally tell you. This list is made up of things I WISHED I would have been told going into my pregnancy and delivery of my son.
1.Breastfeeding isn't easy:
It will hurt a lot, and it may hurt for a long time. You may have bleeding and cracked nipples, your baby may have to be taught how to latch correctly, let down is going to be painful, you will probably have clogged ducts at some point, you could get an infection, and your going to cry...a lot. Be sure to let your partner know that HIS support for you will make all the difference. The women who succeed in breastfeeding are the ones who had the most support. During the painful days ask him to hand express your breast while you feed with the other. Just know that no matter how much pain you go through, breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding things you can do for your child.
2.Most newborn clothes will go to waste:
Do not waste your money on a bunch of newborn sized clothes, you will not use them all. I have an entire box full of newborn clothes that were not even worn. Be sure you have enough to last a month at the most, ten to fifteen outfits will be plenty. And don't try to buy dressy newborn clothes because as soon as you dress your baby he/she will pee, puke, or poop on them and you will have to change the outfit.
3.Newborn poops are noisy:
A newborn baby's first poop is called meconium. It is a tar-like black substance consisting of materials that were ingested during the time the infant spent in the womb. After that, baby's poop is pretty much liquid until he starts eating solids. Liquid poop makes lots of noise and can be forceful coming out. Beware of projectile poop while changing your baby's diaper. Be sure to put the new diaper underneath him/her so you can keep poop from going everywhere if this happens.
4.“Getting to know” baby takes a while:
It is completely normal if you have a hard time adjusting to mommy hood right after child birth. Not everything comes naturally and not everyone snaps into “mom mode” immediately. Give yourself a break and remember your body is going through a lot of hormonal changes and they should subside gradually after birth. If you feel depressed, or if you feel you want to harm yourself or your baby talk to someone. Do not feel ashamed. Sometimes women have postpartum depression and the sooner you tell someone the sooner you will feel better.
5.You will bleed postpartum:
For a few weeks you will be wearing pads and changing them so often you will feel like you are wearing diapers just like your baby. The bleeding is normal for up to three to four weeks as long as it does not get heavier. You can spot for up to six weeks. If you get the chance, lay on a towel on your bed without any panties or pads and let yourself dry out and air out. All of the moisture can cause infections if you are not careful.
6.You will hurt postpartum:
Not only will you bleed but recovery will hurt. Your uterus will continue to contract when you breastfeed especially. The first time you try to poop you will feel like you are turning inside out. You will be constipated, your back will feel out of alignment. Your shoulders will hurt. You will be emotional over every little thing. You will be sweaty, and still look about four months pregnant. It will probably burn when you pee. Your tears will hurt and burn. Your feminine area will be loose and stretched for a week or so. As stated above, your breasts and nipples will be going through hell. But believe me, it is ALL worth it. I would do it all over again if I were given the chance.
7.You wont have time for anything else:
It is so nice to think that when you come home you will have a clean house, laundry done, and dinner on the table every night. Wrong. A baby takes so much time to care for, even with two people doing it. Learn to let the housework go and rest with your baby. The housework will be there when you come back to it. And the more rest you get, the quicker you will heal.
8.You wont know what your crying baby wants:
At first you will not know the difference in your baby's cries. The more time you spend with him/her the better you will get to know them. Just remember, a low pitched cry usually means they are hungry, a high pitched cry means they are in pain (usually from gas), if the crying builds in intensity he or she is tired, and if the baby is bored it will sound like a whimper.
9.Baby might mix up night and day:
To help prevent or correct this try taking baby outside in the sunshine for a few minutes a few times a day, let her feel new textures, smell new things, and hear new noises. When it is night time keep the atmosphere sleepy. No light, no talking, giggling or singing, no loud noises. Wake her up to feed, burp, change the diaper, and immediately lay her back down. She will get the idea eventually.
10.Your sex life will change:
After having a child you will be more attracted to your lover than ever before, but for a month or more sex will be off limits. You need to obey this rule to allow your body to heal. The first time you try to have sex after you have a baby be sure to warn your partner that it may not happen completely. If you feel discomfort, stop and try again after a few more days. Once your feel comfortable enough proceed with caution, take things slow. And if it does not feel like it used to, don't worry that is normal. You will eventually get back in the groove of things and it will be better than ever!
This was written from my experience of a vaginal natural birth. What would you add for a c-section delivery? Or for those of you who had an epidural?
My experiences with epidurals:
ReplyDelete1st time: I thought it was great, I couldn't feel a thing. I thought it was great until the nurses got sick of coming in and helping me to the bathroom because I couldn't feel my legs for 8 hours after I gave birth. My husband had to help me to the bathroom a few times during the night when the nurses weren't fast enough, and bladder control is a huge problem just after giving birth. Advice I always tell my friends is that you're husband/partner will see every side of you, in awkward positions, and help you do things you don't even want to imagine helping your elderly, crippled, grandparents do. But don't worry about it, because that's what he's there for, and he'll love you regardless!
The 2nd epidural was pointless. It numbed my abdomen and that was it. I felt everything else. The pressure I felt was unbelievable. And I never thought it would feel so incredibly good to finally be able to push once I was fully dilated and my doctor made it there.
More advice I like to give my friends is to not hesitate to ask for help. At home and in the hospital. The 2nd time I gave birth was completely different than the first. I gave birth in the same place both times, but knowing I could ask for help the 2nd time made a world of difference! Also I tell people, it's okay to let your baby sleep in the nursery while you're in the hospital. The nurses will bring the baby to you whenever it wakes up and needs to eat. But with the baby in the nursery you get so much more rest, which you really need!